"Stay in the Loop" with KESS INFORMANT

                Does everyone think that there should be a mommy and a daddy in the home? No. Is it ok that everyone does not believe it makes a difference if a child has a mommy and a daddy in the home? Yes, reason being, we are all entitled to our opinions. Most parents do what they think is best for their children. None of us are perfect, and none of us have all the answers, most of us are doing the best we can to raise respectful, considerate, compassionate and intelligent little people. Nobody ?wants? their child to be a ?screw up,? and no one wants to be responsible for screwing their child up. After all there is no handbook on how to raise the ?perfect child? or ?how to be the perfect parent.? There is a lot of credible information out there on how to raise kids and how to be a better parent, but you really have to take it with a grain of salt. When it comes to child rearing you have to gage your child and see what works best for you (the parent/s) and the child.

In the past it was ?ideal? for a child to be in a loving home with a positive mom and dad. I can touch on this topic on many different levels, but I am going to try and stick to one. That would be, it is very valuable to the child to have both a male and female influence in the home. This is not always ideal or feasible in today?s society, because of MANY different circumstances (abuse, illness, military, ?dead beats,? parents separated, death) just to name a few, all of these circumstances can affect each individual child in different ways. The most important question to ask, ?Am I doing what is in the best interest of my child?? Once you become a parent, it is not about you any more. Your life now revolves around the child. Considering all of the many different circumstances out there as to why many children do not have both their parents in their lives, let me be clear when I say that it is still possible to be a positive role model in your child?s home, even if you do not physically live with them. The examples we set as parents follow our children outside of the home. So again, both parents do not have to physically be in the home to set a positive influence in the child?s life.

 Is it possible to be a single parent and raise wonderful kids? Of course it is! Do I believe it would be easier to raise children with a partner? Yes, whole heartedly. I commend single parents to the fullest capacity (my mom being one of them) for all of the sacrifices they make, and being able to ?hold it down? alone. I don?t know how they do it.  I don?t know how my mom did it for that matter. I do know one thing, my mom would not have had to work so hard and miss out on so much time with my sister and I, if my father was in our lives consistently. Sometimes parents think that they show their love by purchasing their kids the latest gadgets, the fashionable clothes, or the latest CD etc, but really all kids need and want is your love, affection, attention, and stability. Of course they need to be fed, clothed, and housed, but I am speaking on the tangible things, I am referring to what helps develop them, what helps mold them, and what helps develop their perception of you, their parent, which in turn develops their perception of how they should be as a parent. I know for me growing up all I wanted was both my parents and their love. I did not care about the material things. The time I did spend with my father was far and few between, but I did feel loved when I was with him. Definitely did not feel the love when I did not see or hear from him for years on end. I can remember some of the times I saw him when he came to visit us, he would buy me and my sister stuff, and that is all it was ?stuff.? What was most important to me was spending time with him.  I would have been happy if my father was more consistent. He did not have to necessarily be physically in the home with us. Being in my life consistently would have been appreciated. Although I believe my mom did a great job raising my sister and I, I strongly believe I would be a different person today, if I had a male influence in my childhood, preferably my father.

There are certain qualities that men bring to the table, and there are certain qualities that women bring to the table, and I don?t believe either can take the place of the other. Mother?s (women) and Father?s (men) compliment each other by picking up where the other lacks, creating a balance. For example, I will be the one to teach my daughter how to be a lady, sit down with her and explain the changes her body will go through and how to respect her body, have the first ?talk? (birds and bees). Sure, her daddy could teach her those things, but she will most likely be more comfortable discussing them with mommy. She will also learn about being a lady, by the way I carry myself, actions speak louder then words. As we all know our children see and hear everything, they are learning from our physical examples too, not just our verbal teachings. Daddy will be the one to teach her about boys from a male perspective, and he will also teach her how a lady should be treated. She is already learning how a lady should be treated by how daddy treats mommy. Our son, he will learn how to be a man from daddy, by watching daddy and talking to daddy. He too will learn how to treat a lady from daddy, and he will hear how a lady should be treated from mommy. The physical example will come from him watching how daddy treats mommy. He will learn how a lady should treat him, by watching mommy interact with daddy. These are just some basic examples, there are many other examples. The most valuable lessons our children learn are from the examples they see and hear at home.

It would be ideal for a child to grow up in a home with a positive, loving, mommy and daddy, but it is possible for a child to still get those positive influences from both mommy and daddy, even if the parents do not live in the same home. Both parents have to make the effort to instill the positive influences in the child. Whether the child comes from a two parent home, or a single home, I believe the most important aspect that mommy and daddy can bring to the table is love. We all know that children can feel the love from family (grandparents, aunts and uncles etc.) and friends too, this article is just about mommies, daddies and their children, and how parents influence their children. To all the parents out there that give it their all, who are active in their child?s lives, who are supportive and loving, I commend you. Keep doing what you are doing, and hang in there, we all know that being a parent is a hard job. 

Same Sex Marriage/Relationships and Kids

                Does it make a difference if there is a mommy and a daddy in the home? My seven year old daughter seems to think so. Today, Tuesday, December 16, 2008, her father, her little  brother and I went to pick her up from school and we began to have our usual ?how was school today? conversation. She was really excited to tell us about her day. She was excited about the dreidel she received today from one of her classmates. She proceeded to tell us how it works, and how you play. I then asked her who she received the Dreidel from, I always ask her who she is referring to so she knows I am interested in who and what she is talking about, plus I have been to her class a few times so I like to picture the person she is talking about. I guess you can say I am a visual person. She gave me the name and I said the one with?before I could even finish my sentence she said ?two dads.? My heart dropped, and I said ?what? she said ?he has two dads.? For a moment I really did not know what to say, I knew what boy she was talking about and I also knew that her classmate had two dads, but I had no clue that she knew that. I?m thinking to myself ?seriously, I am really going to have to a conversation about this sensitive issue?right now?she?s seven.? So after I picked up my heart, I proceeded to ask her how she knew he had two dads, she said ?they come in to class together all the time; it is never one of them it is always both of them, even last year.? I went on to say I did not know (classmates name here) was in your class last year, she says ?yes, he is the one that brought the Dreidels last year and his dads came in then too.? So then I ask her how she feels about him having two dads, ?I think it is fun for him, because he is a boy.? So I ask her how would she feel to have two dads, ?I would not want that, I am a girl I need a mommy.? So I ask her how she would like having two mommies, ?I like having a mommy and a daddy, I would not want two of the same.? So then I ask her if she treats her classmate any different, ?No, but I don?t like to sit by him.? Both her father and I tell her that is treating him different. She then explains herself, ?I don?t like to sit by him because he is loud and he spits when he talks and when he is eating.? I then tell her that is how most boys are, that is what boys do. =) Then daddy tells her your brother spits and is loud, he is spitting right now, her little brother did start spitting, but that was only because he heard the word. Any how, I ask her again, you do not treat him different right, and she says no.  My daughter is very observant, like most kids, so I am just wondering how same sex marriage/relationships affect the children who are in them. My daughter seemed a little uncomfortable talking about it. She talks to us about pretty much everything, but when I asked her to express her thoughts on having two dads or two mommies, she seemed uncomfortable, I don?t think it was because of the topic, I don?t think she wanted to say anything that may hurt someone?s feelings even if that someone was not even in the car with us at the time.  She is very observant and compassionate, and I feel bad that she even has to worry about yet another adult issue.

I personally do not care about who someone chooses to love or marry; it?s really not my business. However, I do have a problem when I feel adult matters are forced upon, young impressionable minds, the children of today.  What I mean by this is, my daughter, or my son for that matter, should not have to worry about adult matters. They should not be exposed to things that do not make much sense at such a young age. Children today are being robbed of their youth. They are not allowed to be kids. I have to monitor what my kids watch on TV (luckily my son really only likes Elmo, so I am lucky to watch that over and over?that is another topic?lol) I have to monitor what they listen to on the radio. I have to monitor the computer to make sure they do not see anything inappropriate there. It just never ends. I know we are in an age where ?sex sales,? but can the children be left out of that? Even some of the children?s clothing stores, primarily for girls, are a little inappropriate in my opinion. What do any of those things have to do with my topic you ask? Just like I don?t want to have to talk to my daughter about any of the above topics (but I am forced to, so someone else does not talk to her that may not share the same beliefs) I don?t want to have to talk to her about same sex relationships, SHE IS TOO YOUNG. I am already dreading having ?The Talk,? does this mean that when I have ?the talk? with her, I am suppose to discuss who is ?suppose? to be in relationships? Should I feel bad because I want to teach my children about traditional marriages and relationships? Her father and I do not teach her to be judgmental, nor do we teach her to discriminate, but am I suppose to tell her that it is ok to be in a relationship with a girl/woman when she is growing up in a home with a mommy and a daddy? To me this just seems confusing to children. Children learn by example, this is why my daughter felt the way that she did when we had our discussion about having two mommies or two daddies. She is growing up in a home with a mommy and a daddy, and if her father or I were to tell her that people can not help who they fall in love with, even if that means if that someone is of the same sex as you, would be a contradiction to the physical example that she is learning at home by seeing mommy and daddy interact everyday.  I just think it is unfair for those of us who want to raise our children in the ?traditional? way, with a mommy and a daddy, to feel bad because we may be discriminating against two people who love each other that may be of the same sex. Considering my children?s father and I came from homes with parents of the opposite sex, the only experience we can teach from is the one of a traditional sense.

I mentioned before that my daughter is observant, and compassionate, but she is also loving, kind, and caring. Having these qualities makes it easy for her to make friends, keep friends, and mediate between friends.  However, I am concerned for her because of these qualities, because she will try to take on issues that she has no business concerning herself with while she is a child.  She already takes on issues that are too big for her plate.  I am also concerned for the other kids who are like her. It?s not fair that the children of today are forced to grow up so fast and take on so much. I feel for the kids that come from same sex relationships because of how cruel kids are. Although, I know there are plenty of children who are like my daughter and will be friends with someone no matter what their background is, and who there parents are, there are still plenty of kids out there who are cruel.  Please do not misunderstand me when I say I have concerns about the kids who come from homes where there are two parents of the same sex, I know that they can love a child just like a heterosexual couple, and give them a good home, my question is, where is the balance? I will get into that subject more in my next blog topic ?The importance of a male and female influence in the home.?

 Even though people should be able to marry who ever they want to marry and be in a relationship with who ever they choose, and for those who don?t agree with same sex marriages/relationships for what ever their reasons, whether it be religious, or spiritual, they should not worry themselves about it, they should leave it to what ever higher being they worship handle it. On the same token, those that do not agree with same sex marriage have just as much right to not agree with it, and feel they way they feel about it, just as much as the people who want to marry someone of the same sex or be in a relationship with someone of the same sex.

This particular topic is my opinions and feelings only, I am not speaking for any group of people, and I am not judging anyone, nor am I trying to offend anyone.  I am sure if this will ever be possible again, but I would like for the youth to go back to being innocent. I can not stand that their youth and innocence is being robbed from them at earlier and earlier ages.

It?s Potty Time! (Potty Training Boot Camp)

My Potty Training, week long journey experience with my 20 month old son. Please make note that I am not making any claims that what worked for me will work for you. I am just sharing my experience.

Since my son was about 8 months he has been telling me "I boo boo" either before he was about to go, during the process of going, or after he went. Because he was so young, I did not get into the potty training, but I did encourage him to keep telling me, then at 10 months we bought a potty chair, again because he was so young, I did not have any expectations, I just wanted to get him familiar with sitting on the potty, so he would not be scared of it. So yes, I have not
been very consistent. Now that he is getting so close to two, I thought it was time to really get on the ball.

First Day (Tuesday, December 9, 2008)

Potty Training Boot Camp Began! This is a combination of methods I have heard or read about earlier on before I was even thinking about potty training him, as well as things I did with my daughter 6 years ago. So I began by putting him on the potty as soon as he got up, most adults have to use the bathroom when they first wake up, so it is usually true for children too. I put him on the potty 10 minutes after giving him something
to drink. If I put him on the potty any later than 10-13 minutes he did
not make it to the potty. I gave him some commando(no ?undies? or diaper) time, as well as
some "big boy" underwear time. He went through 5 outfits today! I almost forgot the first time he peed on himself today, he pointed to the floor and said ?Damn it.? I am embarrassed to say, he learned that phrase from mommy. =O I am sure I don?t have to say, be careful of what you say around your kids, they will repeat it. I would like to clear my name and say that I did not teach him this on purpose, and I have tried to teach him otherwise. The more I tell him not to use it the more he says it. Lately I have been trying to ignore it, and not acknowledge him when he says it. He does not say it as much, but I am looking for a word or phrase to replace it with that sounds similar. Still working on that though, if there are any suggestions, please feel free to let me know. I tried doughnut?don?t ask?I was trying?that was the only thing I could think of that sounded close. I don?t use a lot of profanity, that is probably the worst thing that I say the most?I am working on it?for the sake of my parakeet son. At least I can say that I did not teach him to say ?I farted? on purpose, like someone else I know, I am not going to say any names (daddy!). Oh no, I was not embarrassed when my son blurted this out at the grocery store last week. =I
Oh yeah, he went "stinky" on the potty for the first time today, so that was a plus.
Yay!

Day 2 (Wednesday, December 10)
Today, it was a rocky start. I thought I would do something different and put his potty in the living room while he was watching "Elmo's Potty Time" on DVD, hoping he would sit on it and stay there longer since Elmo would keep him entertained. He did not like that, he was very resistant he did not want to sit on his potty, and he told me
so. I got the picture, I left him alone for a little while, but I did not want to be defeated so I put his seat on the big potty, which is where he has been going in the past. I was putting him on the big potty before, because it is not as easy for him to escape, if he is on the big potty. I sing songs to keep him entertained in the bathroom and read books, but basically if he has not gone in the first few minutes that I put him on there, he gets irritated. I probably would too. =)

So, back to today, I did the commando, and the big boy pants for most of the day, after I gave him something to drink, 10 minutes later I put him on the potty and he went each time. However before, I got my timing down today, he was commando, and he peed two x's within 15 minutes in the same spot...ON OUR CARPET.

The highlight of the day...we were in the bathroom with daddy...his potty was in there, so I had him sit on his potty since the big potty was being occupied. Let?s just say that one of the adults (clearing throat) was having a business meeting. This is why he was on his potty. After the business meeting was over he took his seat of his potty...I thought he wanted to put it on the big potty, but no, he just was taking it off, and he put it in the space where I always place it after he has gone to the bathroom or tried to go. So after he removed the seat, he went back to his potty sat down, had his
business/serious face on....AND COMMENCED TO PEEING ON THE FLOOR...he was sitting on his potty, but since he did not have the seat on there with the "tee tee blocker" pee went all on the bathroom floor. My fiancé and I were laughing so hard, it was hard to contain myself, but after I pulled myself together I congratulated him and encouraged him to finish, because he was looking at us like "what is so funny I am handling business here." I told him good job, said yay, and told him I was so proud of him for using the potty like a big boy on his own. We were making so much noise in the bathroom, my daughter had to come and see what was going on. I really was so very proud of him...obviously he needs to work on his aim though. LOL He was so proud of himself. =) I just wish I would have had all of that on video tape.

Day 3 (Thursday, December 11)

Day 3 in my potty training boot camp, and it has gone pretty well! My 20 month old son was commando most of the day
and he only had one #1 accident and one #2 accident. Luckily both of those times were the times he was not commando. whew! =) He told me two of the times today when he had to go, most recently about 20 minutes ago, he tapped me on my leg while I was checking my daughter's homework and said "pee pee." So we ran to the bathroom,
and he commenced to peeing like a little race horse. =)

I am so proud of him, but I know the journey is not over yet. Potty Training is exhausting, even for him, he took a nap today (YAY!), which he does not do to often. I know he is still pretty young, so I am not getting too excited, but I am proud. I have heard for a very long time that it is harder to train boys, so I will just have to wait and see how this process goes. Any how, for those of you potty training, hang in there! I know it is frustrating at times, but it is such a big accomplishment for our little ones, so try and have fun with it.

Day 4 (Friday, December 12)

Another Rocky start, but it was completely my fault. I heard him make some noise at 6am, which is an hour earlier then he usually gets up, but I thought he would have to go to the bathroom so I went to get him, and put him on the potty. Let?s just say he was VERY resistant and he was already wet so I did not make him stay on there long. I put him in the bed with me and daddy for a little bit, but it was not long that he requested ?Mulk? (that is Milk in his language?lol). About 20 minutes after growing tired of being in the bed he says ?Im wachin it? ?I wanna wach Elmo.? I don?t think I need to translate that.  =) So we get up, and watch ?Elmo?s Potty Time.? He needed another cup of milk at this time so I gave him another cup and sat down with him to watch Elmo. We had about an hour before his sister needed to get up and get ready for school. 10 minutes after having his cup of milk, I asked him if he needed to potty, he said no, but I took him to the bathroom anyway. He was resistant, but he did go. I thought we were back on track, and things were looking good. After we dropped my daughter off at school we came home and I was getting ready to do some of our usual routine, but he wanted to go outside. I told him it was too cold. He went and got his hat and shoes (he had on his slippers) and said ?outside.? Before we went outside I asked him if he had to go to the bathroom, he said no. I said ?ok.? So I open up the garage where their toys are, and where it was a little warmer, so he could play. So we are outside no longer then 10 minutes and he starts peeing. Did I mention before that he was commando? =0 He was standing on his sister?s scooter, so he peed all over that as well as on the floor and on his daddy?s mat he has down under his workout bench. I swear my kid pees like a race horse?maybe that is a boy thing. LOL  Sorry for the details, but the pee just shot out of his pajama?s like he did not even on his pajama pants. I told daddy about the incident, but sister does not know that her scooter has been (clearing throat)?broken in? I don?t know if I am even going to tell her.  =)  After that he did pretty well. I had to keep asking him if he needed to use the bathroom and putting him on the potty 10 minutes after I gave him something to drink.

Day 5 (Saturday, December 13)

Woke up about 6:45am, took him to the bathroom, and he peed. We got his milk and started to watch Elmo?s Potty Time, this is upon request of course. If you purchase this DVD and your child likes it be prepared to watch it back to back ALL day long. Also, child will sing and hum all the songs all day long. =) My son?s favorite part of one of the songs he sings is ?you?ll do it.? So I thought I would take a cat nap, while he was sitting in my lap watching Elmo, don?t worry with my cat naps, I still hear everything that is going on, especially with him. Don?t ask me how, but I just do, I am sure many of you mommies out there can relate. So about 15 minutes later he says ?pee pee,? I ask him if he has to pee pee, he smiles and his little face lights up and he says ?pee pee? again, so I rush him off to the bathroom, and he goes. He was commando up until his nap (diaper goes on at nap and when we leave the house and of course bedtime), and he did not have any accidents. When he woke up from his nap, I put him on the potty and he went. I put him on the potty again before we left the house, and he went. Our first stop was Target, since we got such a late start we did not do much this day. About 15 minutes of being in the store, my daughter had to use the bathroom, and my son claimed he did too! Since I am not a big advocate of public restrooms, I did not put him on the potty. I am in search of a traveling potty. When my daughter was his age I would hold her over the public toilets, seeing he has a different part, and pee will go every where if I tried to do this with him, he did not go to the bathroom at Target. So we get to our second destination, and after about 20-30 minutes of being there, my son says ?pee pee.? I brought his seat from home, since I knew were going to our relatives, I was not sure if he would go elsewhere, but I brought it just in case, and I am glad I did. We rushed to the bathroom, put his seat on the big potty, and he started to pee. His diaper was wet, but it was not warm (from touching on the outside) so I know it was not recent, I am guessing this was the pee from Target. He used the bathroom a few more times while we were there, and again when we came home, before and after bath time, before bed. So he only had one accident today. Yay!!!

Day 6 (Sunday, December 14)

The day went pretty well, he had a couple of accidents, but for the most part he did a great job! I guess he thinks he is grown now, because he does not like for me to take him to the bathroom unless he has told me he has to go. So now I only ask him if he has to go, and I continue to ask him throughout the day along with reminding him to tell me when he has to pee pee or boo boo. For a minute I thought he had it down, we got to the middle of the day with no accidents, and then it came time to go ?stinky.? I put his potty in the living room, he found it more entertaining to stand on it then sit on it, since it is also a step stool. Then he wanted to sit on it with the seat off. Any how, he said boo boo, so I asked him if he had to go, and he said no. I said are you sure, he said no, so I left him alone and went back to washing the dishes. Shortly after I went back into the kitchen he starts walking over to me and says ?paper towel? I asked him why he needed a paper towel, and I also noticed he was walking funny. As he takes a few steps towards me a (those with weak stomachs, don?t read the next part) stinky rolled out of his sweat pants. As I went over to the potty I seen that he let one go over there too! LOL  Yes, he was commando under those sweat pants. I take it he did not like having stinky in his pants, because he has not done that since, but it has only been a week, so who knows he may have another stinky accident.  =) Yes, my little man is a bit of a neat freak, so he wanted to clean up his mess, he even asks for a wipe to wipe down the toilet after I take his seat off the big potty. He has seen me wipe it down with a wipe so now he thinks he is supposed to do so as well. After that occurrence, daddy said ?put a diaper on him, it?s like having a puppy.? After the ?stinky? episode I put him in the bath to get all cleaned up.  He went potty one last time for the day, but this time it was on the potty.

Day 7 (Monday, December 15)

Today was a great day! He woke up dry again! There were no accidents. He went potty on the potty all day long. I had a diaper on him today, all day, but it was dry every time I took it off to put him on the potty. Again, I only put him on the potty when he said pee pee or boo boo. I don?t know if he gets offended now if I take him to the bathroom without him telling me he has to go, but he does not like it if I try to put him on there if he has not said he has to go. Mommy has learned her lesson. =) So he tells me boo boo, and starts making his ?business face? so I take him to the bathroom. He tells me ?no, no potty? and I ask him to please try. So he sits there for a minute, but he does not want to go, but I can see that he needs to. Poor baby, I think he was a little constipated. He did not want to be on the potty so I took him off. I am washing dishes again?seems like I am always washing dishes?any how, he is behind me and standing very still, making his ?business? face, so I take him to the potty. I notice he does not want to put his bottom down on my arm, so I am thinking he has already gone, or it is about to come out. We make it to the bathroom, but (weak stomachs may not want to read) his ?stinky? is already starting to come out, and if I would have lifted him up quickly to get him on the potty it would have went on the floor, so I just caught it in the diaper, and let him see me flush it in the toilet, as a reminder of where ?stinky? goes. Then we flushed the toilet and said bye bye to the boo boo. So wait a minute, does this mean he was not accident free today??? =) After this I am thinking, accidents are done for the day, he is getting ready to take a bath and go to bed. He gets all fresh and clean, I take him out of the bath, put on his t-shirt and get ready to put some lotion on him and then he says ?pee pee? I ask him if he needs to pee pee he says no, and as I get ready to say are you sure, and was going to put him on the toilet anyway?.HE STARTS PEEING LIKE A RACE HORSE? it all got on the bathroom rug, and a little bit on his shirt(does this incident also count as an accident? lol). So I get ready to take off his shirt because it now has pee on it, but he does not want me to take it off. I say to him ?there is pee on it, you need a clean shirt, mommy asked you if you had to potty.? I hurried up and put on a clean shirt, so he did not start a riot. I am thinking he was cold that is why he did not want his shirt off, maybe even why he peed on the floor, who knows.  We did our usual bedtime routine, bath, brush teeth, bedtime stories, and singing(Please no requests, my singing is only for my kids, they are the only ones I am legally allowed to torture with my singing, lol), but he had to go one last time to the bathroom, but this time he told me and let me take him to the bathroom and he peed on the potty like a big boy.

Day 8 (Tuesday, December 16)

Today was even better than yesterday!!! He woke up dry, and he had absolutely NO ACCIDENTS. He went potty all day, he let me know when he needed to go, and I took him to the bathroom, and after he went we did our usual celebration, Hi-Fives, Good Jobs, and Hugs. As he gets more and more experienced, I will ease back off of the celebrating, but this is a HUGH accomplishment right now. I get a phone call from my daughter ?mommy I left my lunch on the counter can you bring it?? Of course I am not going to let my princess starve so my son and I drove up to her school to drop off her lunch. When we got back I sat in the driveway for a few minutes because a song I like came on the radio and I wanted to hear it, just as the song was going off, my son says ?pee pee.?  I am thinking, well here goes the accident for the day, I confirmed he had to go, and I said ?hold it, don?t pee pee? we rush in the house, and get in the bathroom, and guess what HE MADE IT! Whew?close call. We even went to Target later in the day?.ok I think we go to Target too much?LOL?any how, he used the bathroom before we left, but because he is a very new potty trainer I put a diaper on him before we left and I will continue to do so when we go out for at least a few more weeks or I may put pull ups on him while we are out, but considering we just  bought a big bag of diapers, I kind of want to use them. Ok back to today, so we left for a little over 3 hours, and about 20 minutes after being home he said ?pee pee? so we went to the bathroom, and he went potty, did I mention that his diaper was dry! He did not drink very much before we left, and he used the bathroom before we left the house, so I guess that explains the success of our outing. He even went ?stinky? on the potty today on his own, he did not have any close calls today. He told me ?boo boo? so we went to the bathroom so he could go. He said this two times before actually going. The first 2x?s I could see him try, but it just was not time to go, so he said ?all done? that means he wants to get off the toilet, so I took him down. After the third time, the ?business? face was on, so I made him stay on the toilet, he said ?all done? before he really was, but I asked him to stay on the potty and try. After a little encouragement he stayed and he went ?stinky? and when he was all done, he was all smiles and very proud of himself. I am starting to think he gets embarrassed or he wants privacy when he goes #2. This would not surprise me because I remember my daughter use to run off in a corner and go #2 and I know other kids do that as well when they go #2. I wonder what it is about going #2 in front of others.  I know as adults most of us don?t really like to do so either, I guess we start that as little kids, who knows. So today was very successful, no accidents all day, and we were even able to leave the house.

So to sum it up, keep potty training simple, and fun for the kiddos and yourself. They get frustrated when there is too much pressure, as well as the parent gets frustrated when they have too many expectations. Kids pick up on all of our emotions, so a frustrated mommy or daddy also leads to a frustrated child.

My Personal Tips:

1. Introduce your child early on to the potty before you are even thinking about potty training. When you get ready to potty train they will feel less anxious and apprehensive, because they are already know what the potty is and what it is used for.

2. Let them see you or an older sibling use the bathroom. (I let my son see me use the bathroom, as well as daddy, but he did not see our ?private parts?) The point is to let him see that we all use the potty.

3. Let her be free, let her go commando. (No undies or diaper) Doing this makes the process go faster.

4. Teach all of the bathroom essentials, use potty, wipe, flush toilet, and wash and dry hands.

5. Potty Training Boot Camp- Once you commit, start first thing in the morning.

6. Keep encouraging, stay positive, keep if fun, and follow through, if circumstances permit.

7. Be Patient

Besides the technicalities one other thing that I do that may not seem like a huge deal, but my
son loves it...we race to the bathroom when he says he has to go or I
come chasing him to put him on the potty, and he thinks it is so
hilarious, which I guess makes it fun for him. Once I have caught him, I swoop him up and we rush off to the bathroom. I make a big deal when he makes it, and I tell him good try or thanks for
trying if he does not have to go at the time I put him on the potty. I also thank him for trying if he had and accident, and tell him it?s ok, he will make it next time.

I don?t know if I can consider him potty trained just yet, but as of today, he is doing really well. Don?t get me wrong I am sure he will have some accidents, and we will address them as they occur, and continue to be loving and encouraging.

Good Luck to all the potty trainers out there!!! I hope you found some, hope, humor and support from my son?s and my potty training experiences.

The gift called ?asking? has been around for a long, long time. One of life?s fundamental truths states, ?Ask and you shall receive.? Kids are masters at using this gift, but we adults seem to have lost our ability to ask. We come up with all sorts of excuses and reasons to avoid any possibility of rejection.

Yet the world responds to those who ask! If you are not moving closer to what you want, you probably aren?t doing enough asking.

Here are seven asking strategies you can implement in your business (and in life) to boost your results and your bottom line:

Asking Strategy #1: Ask for Information

To win potential new clients, you first need to know what their current challenges are, what they want to accomplish and how they plan to do it. Only then can you proceed to demonstrate the advantages of your unique product or service.

Ask questions starting with the words who, why, what, where, when and how to obtain the information you need. Only when you truly understand and appreciate a prospect?s needs can you offer a solution. Once you know what's important to them, stay on this topic and find solutions for them.

Asking Strategy #2: Ask for Business

Here?s an amazing statistic: after giving a complete presentation about the benefits of their product or service, more than 60 percent of the time salespeople never ask for the order! That?s a bad habit, and one that could ultimately put you out of business.

Always ask a closing question to secure the business. Don?t waffle or talk around it?or worse, wait for your prospect to ask you. No doubt you have heard of many good ways to ask the question, ?Would you like to give it a try?? The point is, ask.

Asking Strategy #3: Ask for Written Endorsements

Well-written, results-oriented testimonials from highly respected people are powerful for future sales. They solidify the quality of your product or service and leverage you as a person who has integrity, is trustworthy and gets the job done on time.

When is the best time to ask? Right after you have provided excellent service, gone the extra mile to help out, or in any other way made your customer really happy.

Simply ask if your customer would be willing to give you a testimonial about the value of your product or service, plus any other helpful comments.

Asking Strategy #4: Ask for Top-Quality Referrals

Just about everyone in business knows the importance of referrals. It?s the easiest, least expensive way of ensuring your growth and success in the marketplace.

Your core clients will gladly give you referrals because you treat them so well. So why not ask all of them for referrals? It?s a habit that will dramatically increase your income. Like any other habit, the more you do it the easier it becomes.

Asking Strategy #5: Ask for More Business

Look for other products or services you can provide your customers. Devise a system that tells you when your clients will require more of your products. The simplest way is to ask your customers when you should contact them to reorder. It?s often easier to sell your existing clients more than to go looking for new ones.

Asking Strategy #6: Ask to Renegotiate

Regular business activities include negotiation. Many businesses get stuck because they lack skills in negotiation, yet this is simply another form of asking that can save a lot of time and money. Look at your vendors and suppliers and see if there are areas where you can be saving money. Just ask.

All sorts of contracts can be renegotiated in your personal life, too, such as changing your mortgage terms and rate, reviewing your cell phone plan and requesting a policy review with your insurance agent. As long as you negotiate ethically and in the spirit of win-win, you can enjoy a lot of flexibility. Nothing is ever cast in stone.

Asking Strategy #7: Ask for Feedback

This is a powerful way to fine-tune your business that is often overlooked. How do you really know if your product or service is meeting your customers? needs? Ask them, ?How are we doing? What can we do to improve our service to you? Please share what you like or don?t like about our products.? Set up regular customer surveys that ask good questions and tough questions.

HOW TO ASK

Some people don?t enjoy the fruits of asking because they don't ask effectively. If you use vague language you will not be clearly understood. Here are five ways to ensure that your asking gets results.

Ask Clearly
Be precise. Think clearly about your request. Take time to prepare. Use a note pad to pick words that have the greatest impact. Words are powerful, so choose them carefully.

Ask with Confidence
People who ask confidently get more than those who are hesitant and uncertain. When you?ve figured out what you want to ask for, do it with certainty, boldness and confidence.

Ask Consistently
Some people fold after making one timid request. They quit too soon. Keep asking until you find the answers. In prospecting there are usually four or five ?no?s? before you get a ?yes.? Top producers understand this. When you find a way to ask that works, keep on asking it.

Ask Creatively
In this age of global competition, your asking may get lost in the crowd, unheard by the decision-makers you hope to reach. There is a way around this. If you want someone?s attention, don?t ask the ordinary way. Use your creativity to dream up a high-impact presentation.

Ask Sincerely
When you really need help, people will respond. Sincerity means dropping the image facade and showing a willingness to be vulnerable. Tell it the way it is, lumps and all. Don?t worry if your presentation isn?t perfect; ask from your heart. Keep it simple and people will open up to you.

© 2008 Jack Canfield

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